


Pawket and the Christmas Horse

by Doctorinblue



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Christmas, Gen, Pawket, Sad and Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 05:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20420681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctorinblue/pseuds/Doctorinblue
Summary: It's Christmas time and Hawkeye is still little





	Pawket and the Christmas Horse

If anyone asked him - and everyone who might ask is either much too busy or much too child - he'd admit this wasn't how he imagined this Christmas with Hawkeye. The gift, the special one he'd bought ages ago (that came with a few words they both needed to be said) would have to remain hidden in his footlocker a while longer. He's made a new one anyway, a rocking horse that he fashioned out of spare wood and sheer determination.

Honestly, it's been keeping him up too late, long after he's wrapped Hawkeye up and read him to sleep. BJ is running on fumes and he's trying like hell to not think of home and Erin and Peg. The tree they've put in the mess tent keeps catching him and Hawkeye by surprise. Hawkeye is delighted, keeps forgetting to have the joy of remembering. BJ is aching, keeps swallowing memories - especially the ones he hasn't had a chance to make - and blinking back tears. Hawkeye isn't the only one he needs this Christmas, but he's the only one he really has. And he doesn't even really have him...not the real him, not the him that will crack a joke and the ice on BJ's soul with the same smile.

Now, BJ groans. The sloppy kisses to his cheeks and eyes are growing wetter by the moment and Hawkeye will resort to licking. 

"It's early, Hawk," he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face, wiping the moisture away from his cheeks. 

"Bee!" he says, slapping both hands against his chest. "Chris'mis."

And it is.

In the last place BJ should ever be, Christmas has found them. Forcing his eyes open, BJ shifts himself up onto his elbows, mindful of the small body next to his.  
"Morning, Hawk," he says, giving him the customary once over.

Hawkeye's wrapped up in the blanket now, hands pulled back in and pale face peeking out.

"Morn'n, Bee," he says and BJ is just relieved he's not half naked, too large socks torn off and flung in any direction.

"Sir?" BJ hears from the door. "Hi, Hawkeye. Sir, it's here."

He jerks up faster, steady's Hawkeye as he wobbles on the cot. 

"Finally."

He hurries over, takes the package. It weighs more than he expected, but they've all chipped in. Hawkeye needs clothes his size...and when he's back to normal...if he gets back to normal, then it'll make a good donation to the orphanage. 

"Look, Hawkeye," BJ says, settling into the chair. 

His eyes light up. At least until BJ tears open the box and pulls out a pair of small pants.

"No!"

"Hawkeye," BJ says, reaching for him. "You can't spend Christmas without pants on....what would Santa say?"

Hawkeye blinks, tilts his head like he's more puppy than boy...man? 

"Kay." 

He crosses his chubby little arms defiantly, but between Radar and BJ they manage to get the pants on and situated. 

"Hate, Bee. Hate."

"Well, that's too bad. It's Christmas in clothes or no Christmas at all."

Hawkeye sticks out his tongue and blows. BJ blinks. What can he do? He's not Hawkeye father, and he's sure not about to discipline a man/boy that might wake up tomorrow normal and remember it. 

"Hawkeye," Radar says, digging in the box. "If you're a good....kid, I got a surprise for you."

Hawkeye peers over. 

"Me?"

"You have to get your clothes on though, " Radar says, hands holding something just inside the box. 

Hawkeye stands up, sheds the oversize shirt and starts reaching out for a new one. A him sized one. BJ shakes his head. He should have thought of that, should have remembered the extra gifts in the box. For both the orphanage and for Hawkeye.

He pulls a small shirt over Hawkeye's head, smoothes his wild hair down. Then he grabs the coat. Thankfully, finally, he doesn't have to worry about Hawkeye completely freezing when they exit the Swamp. He buttons it up as quickly as he can manage with Hawkeye squirming about. 

"Okay, okay, Hawk," he agrees. "Let him have it, Radar."

Radar pulls out a bear, stuffed and fluffy. He holds it out and Hawkeye's eyes go wide, reaching out for the bear and cuddling it to his chest. 

"Thanks, Dar"

Radar is beaming and if he ever sees fit to be a father, BJ has no doubt he could handle the job. Scooping up Hawkeye, he pulls his hood up.

"Mr. Bear can come to breakfast," he says. "After we visit the latrine. Radar? Would you mind getting the extra toys out?

He looks down to find Radar already pulling them free, pushing them into the red bag.

"Yes, sir."

BJ nods his thanks, heads for the door. He'll never quite get used to that, no matter how many times it happens. He pushes the door open, the wind catching their hoods and forcing them both back. Hawkeye lets out a yelp and BJ tucks him closer to his chest at once. He hurries to the latrine and their business there before carrying him into the mess tent.  
It's quiet. Early, of course. And the tree is in the corner and the smell of weak coffee fills his nose then lungs. He swallows once, then again.

"Bee?" Hawkeye asks, cold fingers reaching up to touch his face. 

BJ looks down at him and pats his hand. 

"It's okay, Hawk. Let's find you something you'll eat."

MASH

He leaves Hawkeye with Radar while he makes his rounds. He nearly offered to be in the suit, but he can't bear the thought of Hawkeye spending the evening alone. So instead he does his best job wrapping the one extra gift, ties a bow onto the horse and carries it to the mess tent. 

It's empty.

It won't be for long. He puts the present on the table and walks closer to the tree. BJ lets out a slow breath and closes his eyes. For just a moment, he's in Mill Valley. And Erin is close enough to hug, Peg close enough to kiss, there is the smell of real meat and real potatoes and a pie in the oven. God, he misses them.

"Sir?"

He jumps, turns and clears his throat.

"Radar, " he says, "I was just..."

"I know, sir," he says. "Hawkeye wants you."

"Bring him in," BJ says. "It's time for the party anyway."

And they do party. The night is calm, the patients that can walk are there, most of the nurses and doctors. He gets a picture frame and a drawing from Hawkeye. Hawkeye only accepts his presents on top of the rocking horse and ends up with the bear, two books, a wooden toy, and too many sweets. If he remembers the way the camp spoils him when he returns back to normal he'll be insufferable. 

"Bed, Hawk," he says at last.

Hawkeye yawns, clings to both the bear and the horse. 

"They're coming," he promises, pulls Hawkeye free and shifts the horse up with his other hand.

He takes one last look around the room, imagines how it would have been if Hawkeye was still Hawkeye. They would have stayed up all night..

BJ carries Hawkeye out to the swamp and dresses him in his brand new pajamas. He pulls him in, and Hawkeye snuggles in close, bear resting against BJ's chest.

"Sleep," BJ whispers, rubbing his back slowly, staring up at the tent above. 

"Bee?" 

Hawkeye shifts, pushes himself up. 

"Yeah?"

"Love you, Bee."

He lays his head back down again and BJ lets the tears fall at long last. 

"I love you, too, Hawk."

_Come back soon._


End file.
